Judy Lyden Great Expectations. It’s a novel. It’s a story of human life that comes at you on many levels. It’s the story of love and appreciation, of work and of rising out of nothing into something. It has its nightmares and its problems, but it has its surprises, as well. Can we expect great things from our children or from one another? Does our culture allow us to demand great things anymore? Do we have a right to make a child behave or do his homework well or his chores regularly? I remember a very special group of nuns who loved the children in their care. When your ink blotted on your math paper, the expectation was to begin again. There was never a raised voice or a scolded child. It was simply expected, and everyone knew. You didn’t crumple your paper, because that was unladylike. You slipped your paper quietly into the trash can, and you began again silently. Ridiculous, you might think, but it taught us that everything we did mattered. If you carry that thought with you into adulthood, at the very least, the most insignificant things you do will be done well because they matter, from peeling an apple to the real matters of achievement, that of rearing a child. From what teachers see today, we expect virtually nothing, and then we whine when we get it. Children have a license to do nearly anything anytime without regard to anyone else, and we call this civilization. It isn’t. I always laugh when a parent tells me, “I couldn’t get him to do it.” “Really? What are your expectations?” Then they look at you as if a light bulb has gone off. Parents often forget who is in charge. Rarely do ineffective parents have expectations. The children of fruitless, hopeless sloth are not free. In fact, they are prisoners of horrible behavior, which is more emotionally confining than simple, kindly, agreeable behavior. When parents are not in charge and have no expectations, children suffer. In a classroom, the expectations move from parents to teachers. Teachers are supposed to back up parents and fill in for parents who are lax. They are supposed to be tough, caring, intelligent and filled with expectations for the kids in the room. I salute all of my children’s grade-school teachers because of their strong and decent influence. It starts at birth in the home when parents expect a good schedule for infants and toddlers. By 3 and the preschool years, a child’s behavior should be under control. He should have learned the hard lesson: how to listen. By 5, a child should be able to conduct himself like a gentleman and turn his listening skills into learning. Discipline today counts now as much as it did in the times of Great Expectations. Then as now, it should be a normal daily matter of attention to detail, and a conversion of manners, which means a gentle turning toward the best we can be from the inside out. Expect great things from a child, demand the world, and he will give it to you. Expect nothing and that will be yours also, and his. Taken from “Expect Great Things From a Child—He’ll Give it to You,” Scripps Howard News Service
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By Bonnie Rochman, TIME, Feb. 18, 2013 If parents can’t limit their children’s TV time, then they can at least try to improve what youngsters are watching. That’s the if-you-can’t-beat-them-join-them approach that researchers in Seattle took in trying to address the issue of how much TV children, including toddlers, watch every day. Despite admonitions from experts and an emerging body of research that suggests children shouldn’t be watching more than two hours a day, the typical U.S. tot spends about four and a half hours parked in front of a television daily. Campaigns to reduce this screen time have clearly been only minimally successful. So by shifting the focus away from how much youngsters watch and concentrating instead on what they’re seeing, the researchers report in the journal Pediatrics on their success in helping parents to increase the time kids spent watching educational programming. The result? Better-behaved children. “There is no question kids watch too much television at all ages,” says Dimitri Christakis, lead author and director of the Center for Child Health, Behavior and Development at Seattle Children’s Research Institute. “Part of the message is not just about turning off the television but about changing the channel.” Kids are sponges who absorb their surroundings; it’s how they learn to develop the proper behaviors and responses to social situations. And they are not only parroting their parents and other family members, but mimicking behaviors they see on television or in movies as well. So Christakis, who has conducted extensive research on the effects of screen time on child development, explored ways to influence what shows children watch so that they’re more apt to imitate quality conduct. “We’ve known for decades that kids imitate what they see on TV,” he says. “They imitate good behaviors and they imitate bad behaviors.” In the study, he and his colleagues tracked 617 families with kids between the ages of three and five. Half of the families agreed to go on a media “diet” and swap programming with more aggressive and violent content for educational, pro-social shows that encourage sharing, kindness and respect, such as Dora the Explorer, which teaches how to resolve conflicts, and Sesame Street, which models tolerance for diversity. The other families did not change their children’s viewing choices. To help parents in the first group to choose appropriate shows, they received a program guide that highlighted prosocial content and learned how to block out violent programming. (The parents were so delighted with the guidance that many asked to continue receiving program guides even after the study ended.) They were also urged to watch alongside their kids. The researchers tracked what the children watched and also measured their behavior with standard tests of aggressiveness and sharing responses six months and a year into the study. At both testing periods, the children in the first group watched less aggressive programming than they did at the beginning of the study compared to children in the control group. Both groups of kids upped their screen time a bit, but the first group saw more quality programs while the control group spent even more time watching violent shows. Six months after the study began, the children who increased their pro-social viewing acted less aggressively and showed more sharing and respectful behaviors compared to the control group. They were more apt to compromise and cooperate than children who didn’t change their viewing content, and the effects persisted for the entire year that the study lasted. “There is a connection between what children watch, not just in terms of violence but in terms of improved behavior,” says Chistakis, who is also a professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington. Who got the biggest boost in behavior? Low-income boys. “They derived the greatest benefit, which is interesting because they are most at risk of being victims and perpetrators of aggression,” he says. Photo courtesy of Victor.Correa/Flickr.com The young Mother set her foot on the path of life. “Is the way long?” she asked. And her Guide said” “Yes. And the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning.” But the young Mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed with them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them and life was good, and the young Mother cried, “Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.” The night came, and storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the Mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, “Oh, Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come,” and the Mother said, “This is better than the brightness of day, for I have taught my children courage.” And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the Mother was weary, but at all times she said to the children, “A little patience and we are there.” So the children climbed and when they reached the top, they said, “We could not have done it without you, Mother.” And the Mother, when she lay down that night, looked at the stars and said: “This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today I have given them strength.” And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth—clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the Mother said: “Look up. Lift your eyes to the Light.” And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting Glory, and it guided them and brought them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said, “This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God.” And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years; and the Mother grew old, and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was hard, they helped their Mother, and when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond the hill they could see a shining road and a golden gate flung wide. And the Mother said: “I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know that the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them.” And the children said: “You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates.” And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: “We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence.” © The Family International. Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D. Richard loved to tinker with mechanical devices. As a six-year-old, he took apart an alarm clock. At nine, he helped his dad fix the lawnmower. In high school, he spent hours tearing apart and rebuilding stereo equipment. Now, as a young adult, he’s a sound technician for a professional theater company. Richard’s parents encouraged his interests at an early age, which helped him become a successful adult. However, Richard was never labeled as “gifted.” In fact, he had trouble with math in school. The definition of “the gifted child” has traditionally been based on school-related skills and limited to the upper five to ten percent of children who achieve high test scores, write well, and excel academically. These are certainly important, but there may be hundreds of other ways for children to show their gifts. “Today’s intelligence researchers emphasize that nearly all children—not just the celebrated five percent—have special talents,” says David G. Myers, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. Studies at Harvard University bear this out, suggesting that kids can display intelligence in many different ways—through words, numbers, music, pictures, athletic or “hands-on” abilities, and social or emotional development. As an anonymous observer once said: “All children are gifted, some just open their packages later than others.” You can play a crucial role in awakening latent talents or developing current strengths through experiences you give your child at home. Here are 50 ways for you to bring out your child’s best, regardless of how his gifts are packaged: 1. Let your child discover her own interests. Pay attention to the activities she chooses. This free-time play can say a lot about where her gifts lie. 2. Expose your child to a broad spectrum of experiences. This may activate latent talents. Don’t assume that he isn’t gifted in an area just because he hasn’t shown an interest. 3. Give your child permission to make mistakes. If she has to do things perfectly, she’ll never take the risks necessary to discover and develop a gift. 4. Ask questions. Help your child open up to the wonders of the world by asking intriguing questions: Why is the sky blue? Find the answers together. 5. Plan special family projects. Shared creativity can awaken and develop new talents. 6. Don’t pressure your child to learn. If children are sent to special lessons every day in the hope of developing their gifts, they may become too stressed or exhausted to shine. Encourage, but don’t push. 7. Have high expectations. But make them realistic. 8. Share your work life. Expose your child to images of success by taking him to work. Let him see you engaged in meaningful activities and allow him to become involved. 9. Provide a sensory-rich environment. Have materials around the home that will stimulate the senses: finger paints, percussion instruments, puppets, etc. 10. Keep your own passion for learning alive. Your child will be influenced by your example. 11. Don’t limit your child with labels. They may saddle her with a reputation that doesn’t match her inner gifts. 12. Play games together as a family. 13. Have a regular family time for reading, listening to music, talking, etc. 14. Have reference materials available to give your child access to the world. 15. Allow your child to participate in community activities that interest her. 16. Use humor, jokes, and [funny] stories to encourage creativity. 17. Don’t criticize or judge the things your child does. He may give up on his talents if he feels evaluated. 18. Play with your child to show your own sense of playfulness. 19. Share your successes as a family. Talk about good things that happened during the day to enhance self-esteem. 20. Provide your child with access to a home, school, or public library computer. (It’s important to provide supervision for any children going online, so that they don’t end up browsing the wrong sites.) 21. Listen to your child. The things he cares about most may provide clues to his special talents. 22. Give your child a special space at home to be creative. 23. Praise your child’s sense of responsibility at home when she completes assigned chores. 24. Visit new places as a family. 25. Give your child open-ended playthings. Toys like blocks and puppets encourage imaginative play. 26. Give your child unstructured time to [think] and wonder about things. 27. Share inspirational stories of people who succeeded in life. 28. Don’t bribe your child with rewards. To constantly use incentives to get children to perform sends a message that learning is not rewarding in its own right. 29. Suggest that your child join peer groups that focus on her gifts. 30. Discuss the news to spark interests. 31. Discourage gender bias. Expose your child to both feminine and masculine toys and activities. 32. Avoid comparing your child to others. Help your child compare himself to his own past performance. 33. Be an authoritative parent. 34. Use community events and institutions to activate interests. Take trips to the library, museums, concerts, plays. 35. Give presents that nourish your child’s strengths. 36. Encourage your child to think about her future. Support her visions without directing her into any specific field. 37. Introduce your child to interesting and capable people. 38. Think of your home as a learning place. The kitchen is great for teaching math and science through cooking. 39. Share feelings. A child’s gifts can be stifled by repressed emotions. 40. Encourage your child to read. 41. Honor your child’s creations. 42. Do things with your child in his areas of interest. 43. Teach your child to trust her intuition and believe in her capabilities. 44. Give your child choices. It builds willpower and fuels initiative. 45. Show your child how to use books to further an interest. For example, how-to books for the hands-on learner. 46. Set aside an area of the house for displaying creations and awards. 47. Encourage your child to tackle areas that are difficult for him. Help him learn to confront any limitations. 48. Be a liaison between your child’s special talents and the real world. Help her find outlets for her talents. 49. Introduce children’s literature that honors and develops gifts. Books like The Little Engine That Could encourage a “can do” attitude. 50. Accept your child as he or she is. By Joyce Suttin
I was eight years old and learning diligence through the few chores I had been given. Growing up on a sheep farm near Pleasant Hill, in upstate New York, there were always lots of responsibilities to be divided between us four children. Being the youngest, I had been used to getting what I wanted—the easiest jobs—but my oldest brother and sister were busier off the farm these days, so more responsibility fell on me. I felt very grown up whenever Dad asked me to do something new. I wanted to show how responsible I was. It had been an especially cold spring, and lambing began in the middle of a fierce snowstorm. Dad gathered the newborns and brought the frailest ones into the kitchen, where they slept in cardboard boxes around the coal stove. Huddled in the hay, they survived their first nights. Dad would awaken early to feed them their mother’s milk from baby bottles. I eagerly helped during the first days. I loved the feel of the lambs’ first charcoal gray wool, soft and warm. I loved their little bleats and the way they eagerly sucked on the bottle in my hand. I loved feeling grown up and helpful. Dad was pleased. He was learning to trust me to help, to feed the lambs without being reminded. He saw my willingness to learn and took it as a sign that I was growing out of early childhood. I was becoming a big kid instead of the baby of the family. As the lambs got stronger and the weather became a bit milder, Dad returned them one by one to the barn to stay with their mothers. They were all doing well—all except one. This lamb’s mother had died in the storm, and Dad needed to find a foster mother for her. But first, the lamb needed to be strengthened. Her weak and wobbly legs barely supported her. When he would lift her to a standing position, she would flop back down on the hay. She needed more time in the house and more bottle-feeding before she would be ready to handle the colder temperatures in the barn or be accepted by another mother. Dad left for work at 6 am, having left instructions for me to feed the lamb before I left for school, but I had stayed up reading the night before and barely had time to pull on my clothes and run out to catch the school bus. It was around ten o’clock math class when I remembered the lamb. After school I ran home from the bus stop to find Dad sweeping around the coal stove. He looked up and asked, “Joyce, did you remember to feed the lamb this morning?” I hesitated before answering, hung my head, and answered, “No, Daddy. I’m sorry. I forgot.” “Well, honey,” he said softly, “I am sorry too, but the lamb died.” Tears welled up as I said again, “Daddy, I am so sorry!” He gently took my shoulders in his hands. “This lamb is gone, and sorry won’t bring it back. There will be other lambs, other chances to get it right, but you know, sorry doesn’t always fix it. When we neglect a responsibility, when we forget to do something important, sometimes we only have one chance. We can be sorry, but sorry won’t bring the lamb back.” It was a hard lesson for an eight-year-old, and I’ve never forgotten the feeling. It taught me to watch out for things in life that sorry can’t fix, especially things that will have an impact on others’ happiness and well-being. A harsh, unloving word can never be pushed back into my mouth. A selfish, thoughtless moment can never be lived differently. A kind word that should have been said can be said later, but not in that perfect moment when it would have done the most good. We can only live today once, and we only have one chance to get it right. We’ll never be perfect, but if we continually remind ourselves of our responsibility to others and try to do the loving thing at every opportunity, we’ll have fewer times when “sorry doesn’t fix it.” © The Family International. Used with permission. By Misty Kay Research report Scientists have recently made a fascinating discovery about an unseen and little understood parasite, the negabugger—so called because of the negative effect it has on its human host’s mental and emotional well-being. It is too small to be seen by the naked eye, yet the symptoms of infection are plainly evident. It lives by attaching itself to the soft membrane of the inner ear. Its tiny buzzing wings vibrate at a frequency undetectable by humans, but which interferes with brain waves and leaves the victim feeling confused and depressed. These negative vibrations can be difficult to distinguish from one’s own thoughts, and the subject may easily be led to believe the buzz of negative self-talk. In more serious cases of infestation the negabugger can move into the brain of its host to lay its young, breeding thousands of little negabuggers that can quickly become airborne and infect others via negative words uttered by the host. The negabugger is a serious pest, and treatment should be administered at the first sign of contagion. The negabugger must be dislodged and shaken out of the victim’s ear. In standard cases, treatment can be self-administered by tilting the head in the direction of the negabugger and hopping vigorously while pounding the opposite side of the head. If it is unclear which ear the negabugger is residing in, apply this technique to both sides of the head to be safe. If more than one negabugger is present, it may be necessary to repeat the process. In extreme or stubborn cases, the victim may need assistance. If a bop on the head with a pillow fails to dislodge the parasite, it may be necessary to shock it out of hiding. A splash of cold water is nearly always effective. To prevent re-infection, place the subject under headphones and play uplifting music and inspirational readings. Also practice positive self-talk exercises with the subject. (Warning: Pillow and water treatments should only be administered by qualified adults. If children attempt these maneuvers, it may result in injury or damage to property.) Clinical study In a clinical study involving my children and young teenager, I have found the prescribed treatment to be quite effective in helping them pull out of bouts of self-pity and other negative emotions. For example, one day I entered the kitchen to find my then 13-year-old sobbing over a sink of dirty dishes. I sympathized, saying, “I am so sorry you’re not happy. I want you to know how much I love you. In fact, I love you so much that I have to do this. …” Producing a pillow from behind my back, I went to work. My daughter laughed and begged for mercy. Post-treatment, the patient appeared to have made a miraculous recovery. She returned to washing the dishes, but to my dismay she quickly relapsed. Time for step two. I went for the cold water. She saw it coming, but never thought I would really do it. After a brief chase around the house, I had her cornered and … splash! Even she thought that was funny. A few rounds of laughs, and the dishes were almost done. As the mother of an emotional teen girl, I have spent many hours reasoning, cajoling, comforting, and praying in various attempts to pull her out of her hormonal bouts of gloom, but lately I have found the negabugger treatment to be even more effective and faster working. Once the negabugger’s unsuspecting targets are made aware of the danger, they can learn to recognize and take steps to protect themselves from it by not entertaining negative or destructive self-talk. An ounce of awareness is worth a pound of cure. Beware of the negabugger! Article courtesy of Activated magazine. Image by David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net By Jane Lampman, The Christian Science Monitor, Januray 28, 1999 Little Earl and his mom and dad were having a terrible time. Diagnosed as hyperactive and defiant at school and at home, the redheaded seven-year-old with a sprinkle of freckles couldn’t seem to control his anger. One tumultuous week it got so bad he was hospitalized for the weekend. Six months later, Earl was much happier: He had found a new way to deal with his feelings, his parents’ relationship with each other had improved, and he no longer needed the Ritalin or Prozac he was being given for hyperactivity. He began to do well in school. Both he and his parents had found a third way to deal with their anger. Rather than denying or venting it, they had learned how to forgive. And their answer is one that is being explored much more widely today. Forgiveness has remarkable healing power in the lives of those who utilize it, says Richard Fitzgibbons, the Philadelphia psychiatrist who worked with Earl and is one of the pioneers in introducing forgiveness into the mental health field. Forgiveness is a hot topic now in many areas, from academic research to marital and family counseling to politics and community life. “Forgiveness is now being rediscovered as a creative human faculty for overcoming estrangement, says Lewis Smedes, professor emeritus of theology and ethics at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif., in Dimensions of Forgiveness(Templeton Foundation Press, 1998). Forgiveness is more than a moral imperative, more than a theological dictum. It is the only means, given our humanness and imperfections, to overcome hate and condemnation and proceed with the business of growing and loving, says Paul Coleman, a psychologist in Wappinger Falls, N.Y. Forgiveness has a spiritual component, Dr. Coleman says, a grace from God, if you will, and spirituality has only become a little more accepted in the mental health field in the last decade. Dr. Worthington, author of To Forgive Is Human, says the key ingredient is empathy. The degree to which a person can empathize is related strongly to the degree they can forgive. Given what is happening in the world, he adds, forgiveness has the potential to be enormously influential in the 21st century. Research will also soon show, he says, that it will be very healthy not just to forgive an event or a person but to have a forgiving character. Forgiveness: Free Stories and Videos for Children Stories:
Videos: Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
When I was growing up, I knew a family of six brothers and sisters. I was impressed by them because they were so unconcerned about being part of the “in group” or wearing the latest style; to me they seemed secure and unafraid of failure. Each of the six had his or her own personality, but all possessed one similar quality, a quality that I grew to greatly admire. It was a certain peace, a security or naturalness—in short, it was confidence. This confidence wasn’t from individual brilliance, athletic ability, or good looks—they were actually pretty average in each of those categories-so I was interested in where it came from. One day an unexpected opportunity came to discover the true source of their confidence. The family moved into a house just across the block from ours. Now, instead of only seeing them at school, I saw them in my neighborhood, and the secret was revealed! Within their home, acceptance and trust were generously shared between parents and children, and that inspired confidence in each person. It’s no wonder that confidence would spring from a trusting and accepting environment. Interestingly, the root word of confidence is confide. In order to confide in someone, there has to be trust. When two people share a mutual trust and acceptance of each other, the result is confidence—confidence in the other person and confidence in oneself. — Deepa Daniels The ultimate safety net Many children simply need a firm footing of love and acceptance by their parents. This foundation of love provides a cushion of protection and security around them that will help keep them from danger and bad influences, such as drugs or alcohol, or even the pain of rejection by their friends. Your love and acceptance will provide a safety net of protection at such times. If they know that you will not reject them, even for their mistakes or foolish actions, they will come to you and there will be the bond that you desire. Children need to know that you will always love them no matter what they do, that nothing will ever take your love away. They must know that they can always talk to you; that even though you may not agree, you may not see eye to eye, you may even think that they’ve done something that is very wrong or harmful, still you are always their parent. You will always love them and they can always come to you. Even if all hell would break loose, your child would know that they will always have your love. — “Parenteening”, by Derek and Michelle Brooks. - "This is the Confidence" excerpted from http://just1thing.com/podcast/2011/6/15/this-is-the-confidence.html
- "Parenteening" © Aurora Productions. Alison Gopnik, Andrew Meltzoff, and Patricia Kuhl
This breezy work of popular science sets out to describe the minds of very young children as revealed by “twenty-five years of research in philosophy, psychology, computer science, linguistics and neuroscience.” The results will gratify new parents: your baby is a genius, just as you thought. Although their brains are much lighter, babies are born with as many neurons as adults. A three-year-old’s brain is twice as active as his mother’s. Babies can distinguish the sounds of all languages with equal clarity; Japanese babies clearly hear the difference between English “rake” and “lake” that mystifies their parents. Parents beware—babies are learning more, and faster, than they will at any time in their lives. On their first day, they show particular interest in the faces that go with voices they remember hearing in the womb, and can already copy facial expressions. Even before they are two, babies are capable of empathy. When one of the authors burst into tears after a long day at the office, her baby son fetched Band-Aids from the bathroom and stuck them all over her. And, like scientists, babies test out their theories. These authors believe toddlers in their “terrible twos” watch the reactions of aggrieved adults as if they were laboratory rats. “Babies are already as smart as they can be. They are designed to learn … most of all by playing with the people that love them.” By Curtis Peter van Gorder At a workshop I attended, art and drama therapist Emily Nash shared an experience she had while working with traumatized children and adolescents at a residential treatment center in the U.S. The boys who attended her class were often combative, prone to negative and self-destructive behavior, and unable to trust adults or even one another. Almost all had histories of severe abuse and emotional neglect. They routinely brought their negative attitudes into the classroom, as reflected in their foul speech and rough mannerisms. Sitting in a circle in typical group counseling fashion, some of them expressed their anger through statements like “I hate being here” or “I hate doing this!” “Fine,” Emily would say, “but why?” She put the question to them one by one. “There’s no respect!” “These jerks laugh at me!” “Nobody listens to me!” “Too many fights!” After listening to their reasons, Emily replied, “What I am hearing is not that you hate this class exactly, but that you hate living in a community where people don’t respect or trust one another, make fun of people they don’t like, and fight.” They nodded in agreement as if to say, “At last someone is listening!” “What if,” Emily asked, “we were to create a community where you did feel respected, a community in which your needs were met, a community in which you felt safe? What would that community be like? Let’s create it together!” The boys’ imaginations shifted into gear. “Let’s call it Parkville!” someone called out. Everyone agreed. Parkville developed into a six-month project. The class made a banner that read: Welcome to Parkville—Where all your needs are met! They drew a map of the town, including points of interest that reflected what they wanted in their community. They elected and appointed people to fill various roles in the town: mayor, superintendent of the school, director of the arts center, owner and chef of the community café, manager of the video store, and many more. They created special events. They found solutions to Parkville’s problems in town hall meetings. Parkville became a community that they all said they would love to live in. Many expressive art projects were born from the creation of this imaginary idyllic town. The first step was to draw the young people out by asking questions and listening carefully and respectfully to their answers, even though they came across quite negative at first. The next step was to challenge them to make a difference by channeling their energy into constructive projects that interested them. Emily explains Parkville’s success: The project gave these young people an opportunity to experience living in a well-functioning community, many of them for the first time, even if only while they were together at the center. Their community became one in which there was support, where they could express their needs and others would listen and respond, a community built on mutual respect and care, a community of possibility. In role-play they found that they could be effective citizens and had something to contribute. Self-imposed limitations were stretched, and new strengths and capacities were accessed. An adolescent who was engaged in destructive behavior was transformed into a leader, a caring father, a resource to the community. Various methods are being used today to reach youth through their own interests, such as sports programs, art and drama therapy, and community projects. Through these, young people can acquire lifelong skills and a positive self-image. When we help them identify goals and find ways to overcome the obstacles they encounter along the way, we help them realize their potential. Curtis Peter van Gorder is a member of the Family International in the Middle East. Emily Nash is a licensed therapist with The ArtReach Foundation, an organization that trains teachers from regions affected by war and natural disaster in the use of creative and expressive arts therapy. Article courtesy of Activated Magazine. |
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